Maybe this is why I hate New York. I feel completely and utterly isolated when it comes to relating to anyone about anything. Granted my social circle basically consists of two groups: work friends and John’s friends. But in each case there are major hurdles standing between me and actual legit friendship with anyone.
In regards to work, I want to make sure I make it clear that I don’t dislike anyone I’m social with there and I am certainly not personally attacking anyone. I’ve met some really great people at my store and am grateful that everyone has been (for the most part) very welcome and open to inviting me into their world. But honest to God I feel like I don’t have a single thing in common with anyone there. Again, most of the people there are AMAZING and I love spending time with them. It’s just that I feel like I couldn’t be more different if I was from another planet. The most general and superficial thing we differ on is music, going out, ideas of fun, etc. Perfect example, the other day at work, during our morning meeting, we were talking about weekend plans. Someone brought up some show that was happening in the park. ”This band, this band, this band, and this band are playing. So and so are DJing.” First of all, I don’t know what you just said. The XX are a band? Are you sure don’t mean X? X, I know. It’s definitely The XX? Weird. Also, what the fuck is Yeasayer? And also also, that Chairlift album sucks except for that one song about the girl giving the guy a blow job. Point being..I HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHIT OPERATES IN THIS WORLD. I swear to God when I said, “and Ceremony is playing a show Saturday and Sunday” I might have well said “I eat kittens for breakfast” the way everyone looked at me. Again, this is not to say I’m better or worse for what I listen to. Just VERY different. Then there is life outside of work. Everyone goes out. Every night. Til the sun comes up. That’s cool, I swear, if I had the energy (and friends) I would. But that shit is just too intense for me. Maybe I’m just used to my life back Richmond. Go out, dance with your friends, go home having not snorted coke off a toilet seat or wandered the streets til 5am trying to figure out where you left your wallet and your friends and your phone and your keys and your pants. I just can’t get into that.
On a related note, I went to the Frank Turner/William Elliott Whitmore show this week. Fucking amazing. Loved being there surrounded by a handful of people who I could possibly hold a conversation with. Loved listening to REAL music played by people who use REAL instruments and sing about REAL shit. Because shit in Brooklyn is just not usually real. Everything here is so incredibly manufactured. And even there, at what could possibly be labeled a “country” show, I ran into a group of girls who were a.) idiots and b.) clearly only there because it was a hip joint and obviously the place to be on a Wednesday night (600 people there, kind of buzz-worthy…plus some shitty DJ was playing some shitty beats the minute Turner left the stage.) Some girl actually asked “Do you know who this Frank Turner guy is?” FUCK. YOU. GO. HOME.
And then there’s my other life in Long Island. In general the people I’ve met there are fabulous. Again, little in common with them, but they’re certainly much less pretentious and annoying then most of the people I interact with on a daily basis in Brooklyn. I think the disconnect here is that generally everyone has been friends with everybody since high school, or at the least, college. Add that to the fact that Long Island is full of a bunch of people who are VERY well off and want for little, and again, I have no idea how to relate.
But I swear, I’m trying. I’m trying REALLY hard to like it here. I’m trying to take it in everyday and appreciate that I live in a really fucking amazing city and that I’m experiencing new things and have more opportunities than I ever have in my life. But all the opportunities can’t make up for the fact that many nights I go to bed feeling completely alone. It doesn’t even make me sad anymore.